Fast Times at Denver “High”

3 04 2009

HA! First I must commend myself on the title – not bad for an economics major.

For all of you who have been living in a cave, let me get you up to speed on the saga going on in Denver.

Cast of characters:

Josh McDaniels: The new 32-year old head coach of the Denver Broncos

Nickname: Jackie Daniels


Matt Cassel: Former New England QB – traded to the Chiefs

Nickname: Guy who did not marry Gisele during the off-season


Pat Bowlen: Owner of the Denver Broncos

Nickname: Guy who calls the shots


Jay Cutler: QB for Denver Broncos

Nickname: (Which I think this picture illustrates perfectly)- Bubba


Jan 11: Broncos hire Jackie Daniels as the new head coach. Jackie Daniels was the offensive coordinator for the NE Patriots. Jackie Daniels helped lead the Patriots to 2 Super Bowl wins, and coached Guy who didn’t marry Gisele during the off-season, and Guy who did marry Gisele during the off-season.


Now go breed super-humans!

Now go breed super-humans!


March 1: Guy who didn’t marry Gisele during the off-season traded from NE Patriots to KC Chiefs.

March 13: Reports surface that Denver engaged in talks with NE to try and get Guy who didn’t marry Gisele during the off-season. This pisses Bubba off.

March 14: Bubba puts his Denver area house on the market.

March 16: Bubba officially announces that he wants to be traded.

March 17- March 30: What the hell are Jackie Daniels and Guy who calls the shots doing? 

March 31: Guy who calls the shots has a press conference saying that they will be trading Bubba.  Here is what he said:

“Numerous attempts to contact Jay Cutler in the last 10 days, both by head coach Josh McDaniels and myself, have been unsuccessful.  A conversation with his agent earlier today clearly communicated and confirmed to us that Jay no longer has any desire to play for the Denver Broncos. We will begin discussions with other teams in an effort to accommodate his request to be traded.”

Holy shit! Is this an April Fools joke?!

April 2nd: Bubba traded to the Chicago Bears. Bubba has his own take on the story

“I was surprised they decided to trade me this soon. I didn’t want to get traded. This wasn’t me. (The Broncos) had been going back and forth saying things, wanting me to be their quarterback and then they didn’t.”


This sounds like an episode straight from high school, only with multi-million dollar contracts.

 As I begin to enter my “golden years”, I am learning now that I really did learn a lot in high school.  Such skills as: talking on the phone while driving, dating upperclassmen, the art of 3-way calling, the art of crank-calling, and of course, making out despite driving a stick shift.

Besides these wonderful skills I learned ( did I tell you that I worked in advertising?): the importance of having friends in different “groups”, that you can get a letter-grade higher  by consistently making an effort with your teacher, and that when you show up drunk to your prom, you will be impeached as junior class president ( items 2 and 3 have no correlation).


My parents were so proud..

My parents were so proud..



The thing is – whatever environment you live/work in – high school antics are still there. And as the Denver saga is showing – sometimes jocks do end up making a lot of money – but in the end, they are still bubbas.




One response

4 04 2009
Miranda's Mom

I don’t think all y’all can call Jay Cutler, a Vanderbilt grad, “Bubba”. In the hierarchy of southern names, he is at least a Beauregard, or a Booker T. Ok maybe he has had a couple of losing seasons, but remember our guy in Tennessee, Vince Young, picked ahead of Jay in the draft, sulks in his tent like Achilles, while we wait for him to reach the emotional level at which he can finally play in the big league. Too bad because Jay really was the perfect kind of guy for Denver – like John Elway, a nice main-stream white guy, good causes, presentable at social events. Chicago’s gain.

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